This Round's on Me Baby!

Every parent has a moment or two when they're caught up short. It happens when the Fruit of Your Loins takes a little mirror and shines it on the lessons you've been teaching them. The reflection isn't always pretty. But on a good day, it might be wrapped in humor, so that makes it easier to look at.

I'm not one to turn down a glass of wine in the evenings. It's yummy, and oh-so-relaxing after a particularly trying day. Like when you run into a Rude Little Rascal Driver (last time Tammy, I swear!). If you look at a previous post of mine, you'll see the empty wine bottle in the background of a pic of WyoBaby. I did not consume its contents in one sitting. Let the record show that the witness does not frequently go on Cab benders.

When I purchase a bottle of the Nectar of the Gods, WyoBaby is usually with me. WyoBaby is with me when I do most things. I'm a mom, and the nature of that role means I have said Baby in tow as I gallivant all over town, running a million errands. On one such day, I pulled up to the local drive-up, and my kiddo said, "Mom, I'm thirsty, can I have a Sprite?" Sure, why not? "I'll have a bottle of Red Diamond Cabernet, and a can of Sprite for WyoBaby. Thanks!" I really didn't think much of it until weeks later. At her orchestra concert, no less.

Every spring, all the schools in the district put on a concert in the Jr. High Auditorium. This means that about 500 hundred kiddos cram onto a stage with their violins to play five variations of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It's stinkin' cute. But that many little bodies, combined with all the parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends in the audience, turns that place into a Bessemer Furnace. No, my storytelling isn't prone to exaggeration, why do you ask? Folks, it's stinkin' hot in that place.

During this particular performance, two years ago, all the little fiddlers had made their way onto the stage and belted out the first rendition of Twinkle, when a sweet little girl who is near and dear to my heart, lost her dinner, center stage. That's how hot it was in there. Another little guy sent up rescue flairs, until his Momma walked up to the stage and helped him down. They were dropping like flies up there! And the audience wasn't faring any better. I'm fairly certain I lost five pounds as I turned into a puddle in my seat. It was like being in a sweat lodge, only we hadn't forked over big bucks for the pleasure...

The performance concluded without further incident, and all those little ones filed off stage, making their way into the audience, where they joined their families, to watch the older kids' concert. WyoBaby was sweating like none other, but still felt the need to sit on my lap. She puts off some heat, people. I continued to puddle, and her little cheeks reached a healthy shade of beet. At one point, she whispered in my ear, "I'm soooo thirsty! After this, can we stop at the liquor store and get me a Sprite?" I did my best to suppress my laughter, since the high school kids were in the middle of Henry Mancini, and whispered back, "Baby, we don't have to go to the liquor store to get Sprite, we can get that at the grocery store." "Oh, okay, well then can we go to the store after this a get me a Sprite?" How could I say no?

Just remember, your little ones make all sorts of connections you might not be aware of. So don't be surprised when they ask you to swing by the local watering hole to grab them a cold one. Pop, that is.