Yesterday was one of those days, mostly because my brother and sister-in-law were coming over for dinner, and I like to maintain the illusion of a clean and orderly house. As I waded through a particularly large stack, I came upon an assignment by daughter had brought home. Her teacher had asked the class to write a letter describing the best gift they'd received. As I started to read, I was so overcome with emotion and love, the tears ran in great rivers down my cheeks. Here's why:
(You might need a tissue if you're as sentimental as I am.)
February 22, 2010
Dear Mom,
What is the best gift you got? Mr. Blanky is the best gift I ever received.
He is the best gift I ever received for these reasons. He was the first blanky I was wrapped in and he was comfy. I cannot believe you were thinking about me when I was not even born, that was such a nice thing to do. He is also my friend, because I had no friends. See, I've had him since I was not even born and he is the best gift ever.
Mr. Blanky made me feel safe. When I was wrapped in him he made me feel safe because he was, and still is, comfy. When you wrapped me in him it made me feel happy. Mr. Blanky made me feel like you were holding me when I was sad. As you can see, Mr. Blanky made me feel safe, and he is the best give I received.
Mr. Blanky has been my friend for nine years. I did not have any friends when I was one year old. Also, when I was alone, I would play with him. Mr. Blanky always made me feel happy. See, he is my friend and will always be. Also, he is the best gift ever.
As you can see, Mr. Blanky is my favorite gift I received.
Your daughter,
Grace
If that doesn't yank on your heartstrings, I don't know what will. Folks, I read this and balled like a baby. Sobbed. Snorted and sobbed and blubbered. At one point, J came in the kitchen to make sure I was okay, only to find his wife red-eyed, with snot and tears running down her face. He quickly walked away, no doubt driven by the fear that he was the cause of my current state and that he would have to try to reason with a woman who was clearly not in her right mind. And through it all, I had the biggest smile on my face. My heart was so full of love, I was convinced it was going to burst. I will try to put into words all I was feeling with this letter of response:
March 15, 2010
Dear Grace,
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so touched that you love Mr. Blanky as much as you do. When I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to find a blanket you would love forever. As soon as I saw Mr. Blanky, I knew he was the one. He has been a good friend to you; from the time you were a tiny tot, you and Mr. Blanky have been inseparable. I remember many nights when you refused to go to sleep until you had him snuggled in your arms.
You asked me about the best gift I received. That's easy. You. Hands down, you are the best gift ever. I loved you the very moment I learned you were going to be a part of my life. As I carried you for those nine months, my love for you grew each day. And when you were born, I knew I could never put into words the depth of my love.
Through the years, you've laughed and cried, learned so much, tried and failed, and tried again. When you giggled and smiled, my heart swelled with joy. When you cried, my heart broke. Through every experience, you've shown me how truly blessed I am to have you for a daughter.
My love for you knows no end, and as long as I live, you will always have me. When you're sad, I will wrap you in my arms, and when you're glad, I will share your joy with you. In all my years, I will never receive a more precious gift. Thank you for being you, and for making my life better than I ever dreamed it could be.
Love,
Mom
There are days when I'm certain my parenting rights should be rescinded, because I feel like a big fat failure. But then I read a letter Grace has written, or I see a smile cross her face, or I look at her as she sleeps and know I'm doing alright. No parent is perfect. Even in ideal circumstances, things don't always work the way we plan. But here's the thing, it's okay. What's important is that we keep trying. That every day, we commit to this responsibility we've chosen. The way I see it, God gives us the gifts of children, but it's up to us to choose the responsibility of raising them in a way which pleases Him. Plenty of people are given that most precious of gifts, but turn their backs on everything it includes. I have no idea how they make that decision. All I know is that as a mother, I have good days and bad. The worry over the bad days is part of what makes me a good mother. And all the things in this world could never take the place of the best gift I received.
Awwww....
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